I am not Useless!
by InstantNosebleed
Summary: A Crack story about a girl Pokemon trainer and her Ditto named Pudding.


_**Disclaimer: **_**I do not own Pokemon.**

* * *

><p><strong>Trainer POV<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ditto come on! We have to make an escape!" I yelled at the pink goo ahead of me.<p>

"Di- Ditto!" she said worriedly flopping over and over like a pancake. I face palmed myself, _team rocket is on our tail and this is the best you got?_

"Can't you think of something faster to transform into Pudding?" In a second the goo had changed into a water type Pokémon.

"Agghh, why did you have to choose a Wooper? You have no arms!"

I felt a bit bad when the pitiful armless thing fell over itself,

"Di-Di-Ditto," it cried. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed,

"Come on buddy turn into an Arcanine or something. Please," I said softly. Only a block or two away I could see the black clad team coming after us. Pudding flipped over onto her back,

"What's an Arcanine?" the pink Wooper asked.

"You know the fire type Pokémon? It evolves from a Growlithe, Pudding we don't have time for this! You're a Pokémon shouldn't you know these things?"

"If I'm a Pokémon why would I need to know?" My eyebrow twitched with annoyance, _she has a point. _

"Just keep transforming!" and so she did, _seriously? _

"Is this any better?" she flopped her tentacles.

"Actually no, you just turned into a Tentacool and we are nowhere near water."

"Ah poo," she huffed before changing back into a Wooper.

"Why am I arguing this with you? Never mind the fact that you somehow know English like some kind of Meowth," I grumbled. I turned behind me, the sleek motorcycles were getting closer, _we have to get out of here._

"What's a Meowth?" Pudding asked curiously.

"I'll tell you on the way!" I took the pink Wooper in my arms and ran down the sidewalk, my heart was racing in my chest. "It's the cat Pokémon that's famous for being able to communicate with humans and Pokémon," I wheezed. "You're heavy Pudding, change back please," I groaned.

And so she returned to her natural form. I saw a woman in a police uniform on a motorcycle not far off. The Team Rocket members were close behind me, I could feel the vibrations of their roaring engines.

"Help me!" I shouted, the navy haired woman turned, her eyes widened when she saw the group behind me.

"Get on!" she said firmly, I slid behind her and held tight to Pudding as she sped off leaving them in the dust. We had finally gotten away from them when she stopped near the police station.

"Thank you," Pudding said softly to me,

"No problem," I smiled trying to catch my breath.

"Wait," the realization hit me, "You shouldn't be able to speak. Oh please don't say I've been replying to a Pokemon this entire time," I groaned. We got off the motorcycle,

"Di-Di Ditto," she said happily. _Oh my gah I am losing it._

"I think I'm delusional Nurse Joy!" I cried holding the blue haired woman. She shifted awkwardly, Pudding turned into a Sparrow and flew off somewhere.

"Act-tually," she looked down at me, "I'm Officer Jenny. Hints the police uniform." The policewoman called someone on her cellphone and few minutes later an ambulance arrived and a pink haired woman and a Chansey got out.

"I'm Nurse Joy," she said soothingly, "I brought a few of your friends with me in case you got upset."_My mind is exploding!_

"But- but I thought she was Nurse Joy!" I pointed at a girl that had orange hair pulled up in a ponytail with a Physduck following her.

"Honey, no," the pink haired lady breathed, "That's your friend Misty."

"I told you she had lost it," Officer Jenny sighed.

"That's Misty over there!" I pointed at a random cardboard cutout of her.

The orange haired girl stormed over to me,

"No no no," Nurse Joy said, "that isn't Misty." A fist knocked me on the top of my head,

"Owww," I held my head.

"That's your friend Misty," Officer Jenny chuckled, Nurse Joy scolded her,

"That isn't funny Jenny."

"Oh sorry honey," Officer Jenny smirked.

"Wait then who is that?" I pointed at the cardboard cutout next to the Vermillion City gym. The words RIP underneath it.

"That's a hologram actually," Nurse Joy said solemnly, "It's just been updated."

"That's Brock," Misty said sadly, her Physduck held her hand.

"What happened to him?" I asked anxiously.

"He, he got run over by an Arcanine ten minutes ago in the fields not far from here," Officer Jenny answered.

_Wait, an Arcanine? Where's Pudding?_

"Lookit lookit a shiny Arcanine!" a group of kids shouted in unison down the block. I ran toward the sound with Jenny, Misty and Joy behind me. Sure enough there was a pink Arcanine looking scared, cornered by a group of boys.

"Is it really a shiny? Or just a Ditto?" a little kid asked.

"Doesn't matter," a boy smirked, "Because I'm gonna catch it."

"Yay!"

"How are we all shouting and cheering in unison?"

"I don't know!" they all shouted.

Not having their own Pokémon they simply kept throwing Pokéballs at her, at my Pudding.

"Stop it!" I shouted pushing through the boys that were easily toppled over.

"Kids get outta here!" Officer Jenny yelled.

"Yes Ma'am," they whimpered, "Ahh my knee is bleeding!" I ran over to Pudding as she transformed back into a blob of goo. No one seemed to take notice to the fact Brock had fallen off of her back, or the fact he had a bewildered look on his face. I held her close.

"Di-Ditto Ditto, Di-Di Ditto, Ditto Ditto," Pudding cried.

"I'm sorry too buddy, I shouldn't have treated you like that," I whispered.

"Ditto?" she sniffled.

"I love you Ditto," I hugged the goo.

"Ditto," she squirmed happily.

* * *

><p>"Wait are you guys gonna forget about me!" Brock whined.<p>

"Shut up Brock," my Pudding said cheekily. We all burst into laughter at the pouting Brock.  
>"So you can talk?" I asked. She only nodded. I smiled. "I knew I wasn't crazy," I sighed in relief. "Let's go home Pudding, it's been a long hour and I'm so tired," I complained.<p>

"Ditto Ditto," Pudding said while curling up to me as I walked into the early sunset.

* * *

><p>"Does anyone care that I'm alive?" Brock asked crying on his knees as it suddenly began to rain.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN;** _This is what happens when I talk to my friend over the phone. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
